SINGAPORE - From the age of 15 to 21, Mr Raphael Joshua lived in what he calls a "dark period of silence".
Born with hydrocephalus, caused by excess fluid in the brain, he had three operations before he turned nine, the first when he was just two days old, to insert a shunt to drain the fluid.
In those six years, he had given up on recovery and physiotherapy, weighed down by hopelessness and the question, "Why me?"
Growing up, he battled lasting effects: weakness on his left side, limited dexterity, impaired vision and difficulty walking.
By the age of 15, after years of occupational therapy and rehabilitation, he felt defeated and was not as receptive to help.
It was only in 2021, when a friend introduced him to books written by retired United States Navy Seal and motivational speaker David Goggins that he found his spark again.
In May 2025, Mr Joshua graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in business. He received the Ngee Ann Kongsi Most Outstanding Overcomer Award, which recognises students with good academic achievements who have persevered in overcoming challenges.
The 24-year-old, the youngest in his family with an older brother, is now on the lookout for a job. His father works as a Grab driver and his mother is a senior patient service associate. He hopes to find work in marketing, business administration or sales.
One of his proudest achievements is being able to walk over 17km and do more than 1,000 assisted pull-ups. His long-term dream is to run an ultra marathon.
"I feel stronger now. Looking back to when I was 15, I do not recognise that person," Mr Joshua said.
Because of his condition, he walked more slowly than his peers, found tasks such as tying knots difficult, had a weak wrist, and lived with poor depth perception as well as colour blindness.
He recalls having support from both family and his Concord Primary School teachers, who visited him at home after his operations.
At Bukit Vista Secondary School, he was given extra time to finish his exam papers and his teachers personally tutored him.
Yet he felt despondent due to his physical limitations, which made him feel a sense of unfairness and that he was missing out.
"I gave up because I thought, you know what, I'm done. This is just my life. This is who I am, and nothing's going to change," said Mr Joshua, who later studied business at ITE College West.
Resignation took hold in those years as he wrestled with the mental weight of his condition.
"You see your peers around you live normally, and I wish I had that for me," he added. "I'm a huge car guy, but with my weak eyesight, I cannot drive, and it still kills me to this very day."
"I realised I would never have certain experiences because of my disability," Mr Joshua said. "And this was just my life. I didn't sign up for this. It felt like life was kind of unfair."
His turnaround came when he learnt about Mr Goggins' journey and the 'hell week' of training Navy Seals are put through. Those who wanted to quit the training had to walk up to a bell that was placed on the beach, place their helmet on the ground, and ring the bell three times.
That story stuck with him.
"I heard that and I thought, I'm never ringing that bell," Mr Joshua said. "That was when I woke up and told myself that I am just going to go out there and try to build the best life that I can."
Now, he is determined to do more with his life while learning to remain content.
During his lowest six years, he found support from a group of friends that he met online. They bonded over topics like football and their procrastination habits, Mr Joshua said.
In 2022, Mr Joshua began fitness training after resuming physiotherapy and changing his mindset.
He started by walking at a park near his house, aiming to cover 7km to 14km a day on the weekends. Gradually, he did pull-ups, and exercises on the stationary bike.
More than improving his mobility, he wanted to train his mental fortitude and endurance.
"For me, it is mental conditioning because I realise that your mind often quits before your body," Mr Joshua said. "So when I push above my limits, it is to condition myself mentally, to rejig the narrative in my head from 'I can't' to 'I can'."
This transformation from "bare minimum living" and getting out of his victimhood mentality was a lot of work, and required a lot of strength mentally, he said. Having people around him who encouraged him to press on also helped change his mindset.
He also notes his achievements in life in what he calls a "trophy cabinet" - a source of encouragement when he feels like he has missed out on experiences like playing football or driving.
"Better things are coming your way," he said, when asked what he would tell his 15-year-old self. "You might think it's rough now, but as you mature and as you grow, you will figure out that actually, life is not so bad, and actually there are a lot more things that you can do.
"The fact that you have this disability is not a blemish on your record, but actually a blessing, because you can be an inspiration to others."