For trans guys, getting a d*ck can be one of the most exciting parts of transition. Starting on T and getting some bottom growth is nice, but for guys looking to go whole hog, getting a phalloplasty or a metoidioplasty is a necessary gender-affirming step.
That said, FTM bottom surgery doesn't get talked about very much, which can lead to many misconceptions about the process. Bottom surgery has been around for a long time, and in the past, it was a very different procedure.
While it's true that in the early oughts, the process was more arduous and complex leading to varying results, you can now basically have a full-on designer d*ck that puts all others to shame.
Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
But as with any type of surgery involving genitalia, there's a lot of mystery and under-discussed details. For instance, what's it like to have sex after bottom surgery? How long do you have to wait, and are there any pitfalls?
One creator is spilling the tea on what it's like to get intimate with your new d*ck, and it's fascinatingly educational.
"Top question I get?" Liam says in an upload from last week, "'Have I used it yet.' No...I'm scared if I'm being honest. Technically, I am a virgin again."
As Liam explains, there's definitely a learning curve, and guys who have recently gotten bottom surgery shouldn't be surprised if it takes time to figure out what works and what doesn't.
"I hear stories where the erectile device can break, and that scares me," Liam shares, referring to the pump that allows trans d*cks to become erect. "Again, you've just gotta practice. I know there's certain positions that are better."
As Liam says, there are certain pitfalls that might feel scary, but it's important to remember that things can go very wrong when it comes to cis sex as well. The important thing is to not put too much pressure on yourself to perform perfectly the first time, and to make sure you're with someone who makes you feel comfortable.
It's also important not to do too much too soon: since doctors recommend waiting a period of 6-8 weeks after surgery before becoming intimate, it's best to wait things out and make sure everything is fully healed before attempting penetrative sex. But once you do get there, expect things to be a lot better in the bedroom once you've ironed out all the kinks.
According to a study from 2014, sexual satisfaction with a partner increased from 50% to 81.9% after respondents had bottom surgery, while orgasm frequency ballooned up in respondents from 45.5% to 77.8%.
So the tea is that folks who get their designer d*cks tend to have a lot of fun with them, but there is, of course, a period of adjustment.
"I'm 10 years post RFF phallo with nerve hookup," one Redditor wrote on a recent thread. "Things are all good sexually. Pleasure physically is either equal or better, definitely not worse. Sex is much better but I can't confidently say it's a physical improvement rather than psychological. I never had a partner make me orgasm pre-op but that's not a problem at all now. If anything, not lasting long enough is my problem."
Another poster who opted for a metoidioplasty or "meta" -- a surgery that works with what you've already got going on rather than introducing grafts -- wrote that "everything physically feels the same as pre-op but mentally it's way better than pre-op just because the dysphoria is gone."
That's one of the best parts of bottom surgery, according to those who have had it. It's less about the appendage itself (though that's also pretty cool) and more about how it feels to walk around with one.
"Sex is one of my favorite things to do, and being post-op has opened up a world of possibilities that i never dreamed of," another happy customer wrote after his meta surgery.
"Do I wish I could feel more?" One Redditor asked. "Yes, but I knew this going in and I'm still very happy with the donor site...And I orgasmed twice, so I've got nothing to complain about, I think. It just takes a bit longer, I think, to get to that point."
All in all, most guys seem to be pretty pleased with how intimacy feels after bottom surgery, no matter what option they choose. The key is to go slow, wait until everything feels right, and maybe get a pair of large grey sweatpants for the pre-op weeks.
Other than that, you're good as gold.
Related*
Sign up for the Queerty newsletter to stay on top of the hottest stories in LGBTQ+ entertainment, politics, and culture.