Have you noticed that sometimes you come across people you instantly like, while others you instinctively dislike? The person may be a new teacher, a fresh student in your class, or even someone you meet randomly at a social gathering.
Have you ever thought about the factors that make some people attractive and others repulsive? Although likes and dislikes usually vary from person to person, but we are generally drawn to pleasing appearances and pleasant personalities.
Some people are indeed born with a natural charisma, a charm that is God-gifted. These fortunate ones gain popularity without much effort and are always welcome among friends and family. It may be their good manners, natural sense of humour, smiling demeanour, compassion or respect for others, or even good looks that make their personality attractive to others.
This does not mean that those of us who are not as lucky can never have likeable characteristics. We only need to know the aspects on which we have to work and adopt the traits that are the components of a likeable person. A strong will and honest efforts will always be helpful to add a particular charm to our personality.
Here are some tips that I think will be helpful to have a clear idea about how to polish yourself, step by step, towards being a likeable and popular person.
Charisma isn't always God-given -- many traits of a likeable personality can be developed through effort and practice
Keep a smiling demeanour
A smiling face is always pleasant to look at. A radiant smile makes a simple face beautiful and adds charm to your personality. Imagine someone you know, not closely, smiles at you in a social gathering; you will immediately get a positive vibe and smile back instinctively. The gesture between you two will be welcoming.
Nonetheless, we all have problems in life, either big or small. A sulk or scowl will never help us solve them, so it is better to keep a positive approach.
Be compassionate and kind
Compassion always adds charm to our personality and kindness is like the icing on a cake. Giving company to an elderly neighbour or relative, reading out the newspaper to them or just talking to them about daily issues will make you a person they will look forward to meeting.
Have you ever noticed an adult carrying heavy bags of groceries to their house? They could be your neighbour or someone you know; offer help to carry the bags to their car or home, or offer your seat when someone enters a room. These are some random acts of compassion that will add positivity to your personality.
The same goes for those in your home. While parents love all their children dearly, one or two often have an edge on others. This is because of their cooperative nature, as they are always ready to help out mum or dad with small daily chores. Those of you who sulk when told to do something or ignore the expectations of your parents, do not have the right to complain that you are not their favourites.
Be a good listener
Most of the youngsters prefer speaking to listening, but this is not the habit of a likeable person. Always be ready to listen quietly when someone is sharing their problems or giving an opinion. Do not interrupt the speaker or show discomfort or signs of boredom, even if you feel that way in reality.
When you are sympathetic to the problems of others and show that you really are a good listener, everyone will be attracted to you. Even if you do not have a solution to their woes, a pat on the shoulder, holding a hand supportively or a few kind words can often work wonders to boost someone's feelings or mood.
Avoid unnecessary arguments
Have you ever met someone who argues and disagrees with almost everyone around them and on every topic in the world? At times, to prove their point, they give references without any authentic sources, give illogical reasons, are rude and raise their voices to drown all those who oppose their views or disagree with them.
Arguing just for the sake of an argument is a trait no one likes. People who have a well-balanced and polished personality always choose to avoid any such confrontations. They take part in a discussion only when they know their facts right, and prefer to change the topic instead of challenging an unreasonable person. Always be polite in an argument or discussion and never scoff at anyone's views.
Be responsible
Try to accept responsibilities and make it a challenge to fulfil them. Whether you promise a grandparent to run an errand for them, offer your mum to look after your baby sibling when she has to go out, clean your dad's car on weekends or take turns at cleaning the classroom after school, always be sure to do what you have pledged.
Delaying a task without any valid reason will give the impression that you are not a reliable person. A person with a strong character is always true to his word. Whether you are tired or don't feel like doing it.
Small acts today will build up your habits tomorrow when you step into adult life, so to polish your personality, always be true to your word.
Positivity is all you need
We don't like someone drawing a negative picture of any situation; naturally, we try to avoid their company. Do you want to be like that? Of course not. Looking at the bright side of everything makes life easier. A positive person radiates good vibes and everyone feels comfortable in their company.
To develop a strong personality, always think positively and speak positively. Cheer up people stuck in adverse circumstances, and keep on reminding them that there is always light at the end of the darkest tunnel.
Some people like to criticise others. They will disapprove of your school, your grades, the clothes you wear, the way you talk and at times even your friends. Instead of replying to undue criticism and trying to prove them wrong, keep a distance from them discreetly. And remember, this is a habit you should always avoid.
Avoid unnecessary complaints
Nobody likes a whining person. Some people are always complaining about the weather, a minor illness, homework, dress, food or anything/everything that goes against their wishes. We must learn to compromise with situations that we come across and cannot change.
A flexible person who adapts himself to circumstances and people around him, whether he is comfortable with them or not, is always welcomed everywhere. Compromising adds to the charm of your personality.
Appreciate others
A kind word of praise for a sibling who has done well in his class test or an acknowledgement of appreciation to a friend who has helped you in studies will make you more likeable. Appreciating your cousin's or your friend's room décor or their personal belongings will endear you to their hearts.
Never gossip
A common trait among most of us, unfortunately, is that whenever a few of us meet up, we talk negatively about the person who is not present. This is not a quality of a person with good character.
Why talk negatively about someone? What is the need? Have you ever thought about it? There is no need; it's not only a waste of time, but also shows the shallow side of your nature. People usually are wary of those who talk ill about others, as they fear they may be the next target of this negative habit.
Personal hygiene is important
While I've talked about different personality traits that can make you stand out in a crowd, there's something even more noticeable before you even say a word: your hygiene. It leaves the very first impression. So here are a few simple tips to enhance not just your personality, but also the way people perceive you.
Take a bath daily, even if you have only half a bucket of water. The fresher and cleaner you are, the more your confidence builds up.
* Clean, well-pressed clothes are a part of good personal hygiene. Your dress should be decent and suitable for the occasion. The same goes for footwear: shiny, polished shoes or clean sandals give you a groomed look.
* Keep a check on your nails, hands and feet. Broken, long or dirty nails always give a bad impression. Make it a habit to clip your nails every week. Clean, moisturised hands are not only pleasing to look at but also important for your health.
* Brush your teeth properly at least twice a day. Bad breath is hard to tolerate, and, no matter how polite someone is, if you're talking with foul-smelling breath, it's difficult for them to hide their discomfort.
* Always smell good. Whether it's summer or winter, a soft fragrance adds charm to your personality. Deodorants are especially important during the long, hot summers.
So, my little dear friends, I would like to give you all this advice, the one that makes this a happy world: Always be honest and truthful. Whatever you do, do it sincerely and remember that no one likes a proud or arrogant person. Be humble and down-to-earth, and respect everyone around you. Remember that the beauty of an attractive personality grows with time and never fades away.